Frame Flipping?

People strongly opposed to same sex unions often position themselves behind a far more ‘respectable’ facade than blunt homophobia, and say that same-sex marriage ‘threatens the family.’ And in Gary Chapman’s When Sorry Isn’t Enough, victims of sexual abuse in a family are advised to apologise to their abusers for the sake of ‘harmonious family relationships.’

The ‘gays threaten the family’ argument appears to be a smokescreen for ‘I hate fags.’ And, ‘family harmony is more important than the due process of law and protection of the vulnerable’ is camouflage that legitimises patriarchal positions of power that enable abuse. Countless victims have been told to ‘move on,’ ‘forgive’ and ‘get past’ abuse while the perpetrators neither show remorse nor are expected to - ‘for the sake of the family.’

I’m interested in whether there is a specific fallacy for this kind of ‘frame-flipping.’ This action enables perpetrators, namely in this case homophobes and authoritarian patriarchs, to present themselves as ‘victims’ righteously defending a sacred cow against whatever ‘malign’ forces they see as threats to it. In other words, pernicious attitudes disguised as noble victimhood.

I would really appreciate the thoughts of your community. Thanks.